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Dinosaur JOKES!!!
Jokes about dinosaurs by non-dinosaurs.

Q:  What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A:  Try and try and try and try-sarratops

Q:  What made the dinosaur's car stop ?
A:  A flat Tire-annosaurus !

Q:  What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ?
A:  Tyrannosaurus wrecks !

Q:  What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use?
A:  A dino-saw !

Q:  What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A:  Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex

Q:  What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? T
A:  Tyrannasaurus wreck!

Q:  Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A:  dino-sewer.

Q:  Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun?
A:  At the dino-shore

Q:  What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
A:  Tyrannosaurus wrecks !

Q:  Which dinosaur slept all day ?
A:  The dino-snore!

Q:  What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ?
A:  Tyrannosaurus tex!

Q:  Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw?
A:  Cause they don't know how to cook

Q:  What do you get when a dinosaur blows it's nose?
A:  OUT of the way!!

Q:  What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
A:  Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

Q:  What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode?
A:  What a lavaly day!

Q:  Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A:  Because the chicken wasn't invented yet.

Q:  What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet?
A:  A Dinosaucer

Q:  How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
A:  Down in the mouth!

Q:  What's green and purple and goes up and down?
A:  Barney in an elevator.

Q:  What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes?
A:  Rep Tiles

Q:  What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business?
A:  Try Sara's Tops

Q:  What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called?
A:  Ptera Don

Q:  How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch?
A:  Tea Rex?

Q:  What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ?
A:  Find somewhere else to sleep!

Q:  Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed?
A:  Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!

Q:  What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on?
A:  Anything you want. He can't hear you.

Q:  Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors?
A:  Because she had no guts!

Q:  What do you call a Blind Dinosaur?
A:  Do-ya-think-he-saurus.

Q:  What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog?
A:  Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.

Q:  Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A:  Because chickens weren't around then.

Q:  Why are dinosaurs extinct?
A:  Because their eggs stink.

Q:  What do you get when you put a bomb and a dinosaur together?
A:  Dino-mite.

Q:  What was the most flexiest dinosaur?
A:  Tyrannosaurus Flex.

Q:  Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory?
A:  Because she was a plant eater!

Q:  Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers?
A:  Because he is a meat eater!

Q:  What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor?
A:  Dino-sore!

Q:  Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
A:  Because they wouldn't take a bath !

Q:  Why did the dinosaur cross the road ?
A:  The chicken hadn't evolved yet!

Q:  What makes more noise than a dinosaur ?
A:  Two dinosaurs !

Q:  What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears ?
A:  Anything you want, it can't hear you!

Q:  What does a Triceratops sit on?
A:  Its Tricera-bottom.

Q:  What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo?
A:  A Bronco-saurus !

Q:  What was the scariest prehistoric animal?
A:  The Terror-dactyl !

Q:  What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels?
A:  A Stegosaurus on roller skates!

Q:  What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ?
A:  A Tricera-hops!

Q:  What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ?
A:  Jurassic Pork!

Q:  What family does Maiasaur belong to?
A:  I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!

Q:  What made the dinosaur's car stop ?
A:  A flat Tire-annosaurus !

Q:  What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ?
A:  Tyrannosaurus wrecks !

Q:  What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ?
A:  A Stegosau-rust !

Q:  What's better than a talking dinosaur ?
A:  A spelling bee !

Q:  What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A:  Try-Try-Try-ceratops !

Q:  What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use?
A:  A dino-saw !

Q:  Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ?
A:  A dino-sewer !

Q:  Which dinosaurs were the best policemen?
A:  Tricera-cops !

Q:  What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress?
A:  Rep. Tile!

Q:  Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation?
A:  To the dino-shore ! Q: Where did Velociraptor buy things? A: At a dino-store!

Q:  What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A:  A Diplodocus with a sore throat!

Q:  How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ?
A:  One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!

Q:  How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ?
A:  The door won't close!

Q:  How do you make a dinosaur float?
A:  Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur !

Q:  When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet?
A:  When it's not raining!

Q:  Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ?
A:  Any kind! A house cannot jump!

Q:  What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ?
A:  A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!

Q:  What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ?
A:  Cheer him up!

Q:  Why don't dinosaurs ever forget?
A:  Because no one ever tells them anything!

Q:  What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat?
A:  Anything she wants!

Q:  What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus?
A:  The strawberry is red!

Q:  Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red?
A:  So she could hide in the strawberry patch!

Q:  What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch?
A:  Strawberry jam !

Q:  What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ?
A:  Find somewhere else to sleep!

Q:  Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed?
A:  Exactly the same as short dinosaurs !

Q:  What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks?
A:  More than the dinosaur !

Q:  How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
A:  Down in the mouth !

Q:  How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ?
A:  As fur as you can get!

Q:  Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat?
A:  Because they don't know how to cook !

Q:  What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had?
A:  Baby dinosaurs!

Q:  Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ?
A:  In the dark!

Q:  Did the dinosaur take a bath ?
A:  Why, is there one missing?

Q:  What is in the middle of dinosaurs ?
A:  The letter "s"!

Q:  Where do dinosaurs get their mail ?
A:  At the dead-letter office!

Q:  What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing?
A:  Her shadow!

Q:  What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes?
A:  Out of the way!

Q:  What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ?
A:  Long distance!

Q:  Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum?
A:  Because they can't afford new ones!

Q:  What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur?
A:  Hello, hello!

Q:  Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch?
A:  That depends on how fast you carry it!

Tom:  I wish I had enough money to buy a dinosaur . Laura:  What would you do with a dinosaur ? Tom:  Who wants a dinosaur ? I just want the money !

Grant:  I lost my pet dinosaur .
Jack:  Why don't you put an ad in the newspaper ?
Grant:  What good would that do, she can't read!

Henare:  How do you know if there's a dinosaur in your refrigerator ?
Sunny:  Look for footprints in the pizza !

Steve:  What happened when the dinosaur took the train home?
Mary:  She had to bring it back!

Sara:  Why did the Triceratops cross the road ?
Jack:  He didn't, the chicken crossed the road .
Sara:  Well, why did the chicken cross the road ?
Jack:  To get away from the Triceratops !

Q:  How do you know if there's a dinosaur under your bed ?
A:  Your nose hits the ceiling!

Q:  Why was the dinosaur afraid of the ocean ?
A:  Because there was something fishy about it!

Q:  What do you call a Stegoceras with one leg?
A:  Eileen (I lean)!

Julie:  Why are you crying?
Sammy:  Because I wanted to get a dinosaur for my baby brother.
Julie:  That's no reason to cry.
Sammy:  Yes it is! No one would trade me!

Q:  What's the best way to call a Tyrannosaurus Rex?
A:  Long distance!

Q:  What does a Triceratops sit on?
A:  It's Tricera-bottom!

Q:  What dinosaur would you find in a rodeo?
A:  Bronco-saurus

Q:  What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?
A:  Stegosaur-rust!

Q:  What dinosaur loves pancakes?
A:  A tri-syrup-tops.

Q:  Why couldn't the long-necked dinosaur see?
A:  Because it had its head in the clouds!

Q:  What do you call a three-ton dinosaur?
A:  "Sir!"

Q:  What time would it be, if five dinosaurs are chasing you?
A:  Five to one!

Q:  What did the cave man say when he slid down the dinosaurs neck?
A:  So long!

Bob:  Wow! Who stepped on your foot?
Fred:   See that Stegosaurus over there?
Bob:   Yes,
Fred:   Well I didn't!

1.  I can lift a dinosaur with one hand.
2.   I don't believe you.
1.   Get me a dinosaur with one hand and I'll prove it.

Little boy:  Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Little girl:  The dinosaur didn't cross the road, the chicken did.
Little boy:  Then why did the chicken cross the road?
Little girl:  To get away from the dinosaur!

Q:  What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor?
A:  Dino-sore!

Q:  Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
A:  Because they wouldn't take a bath!

Q:  Why did the dinosaur cross the road ?
A:  The chicken hadn't evolved yet!

Q:  What makes more noise than a dinosaur ?
A:  Two dinosaurs !

Q:  What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears ?
A:  Anything you want, it can't hear you!

Q:  What's better than a talking dinosaur ?
A:  A spelling bee !

Q:  What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A:  Try-Try-Try-ceratops !

Q:  What does a Triceratops sit on?
A:  Its Tricera-bottom.

Q:  What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
A:  Tyrannosaurus wrecks !

Q:  Which dinosaur slept all day ?
A:  The dino-snore!

Q:  What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ?
A:  Tyrannosaurus tex!

Q:  What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo?
A:  A Bronco-saurus !

Q:  What was the scariest prehistoric animal?
A:  The Terror-dactyl !

Q:  What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels?
A:  A Stegosaurus on roller skates!

Q:  What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ?
A:  A Tricera-hops!

Q:  What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ?
A:  Jurassic Pork!

Q:  What family does Maiasaur belong to?
A:  I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!

Q:  Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ?
A:  A dino-sewer !

Q:  Which dinosaurs were the best policemen?
A:  Tricera-cops !

Q:  What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress?
A:  Rep. Tile!

Q:  Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation?
A:  To the dino-shore ! Q: Where did Velociraptor buy things? A: At a dino-store!

Q:  How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
A:  With Tyrannosaurus checks !

Q:  Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory?
A:  Because she was a plant eater!

Q:  What is an Iguanodon's favorite playground toy?
A:  A dino-see-saur !

Q:  What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A:  A Diplodocus with a sore throat!

Q:  How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ?
A:  As fur as you can get!

Q:  Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat?
A:  Because they don't know how to cook !

Q:  How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ?
A:  One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!

Q:  How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ?
A:  The door won't close!

Q:  How do you make a dinosaur float?
A:  Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur!

Q:  Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ?
A:  Any kind! A house cannot jump!

Q:  What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ?
A:  A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!

Q:  What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ?
A:  Cheer him up!

Q:  Why don't dinosaurs ever forget?
A:  Because no one ever tells them anything!

Q:  What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat?
A:  Anything she wants!

Q:  What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus?
A:  The strawberry is red!

Q:  Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red?
A:  So she could hide in the strawberry patch!

Q:  What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch?
A:  Strawberry jam !

Q:  How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
A:  With Tyrannosaurus checks !

Q:  Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory?
A:  Because she was a plant eater!

Q:  What is an Iguanodon's favorite playground toy?
A:  A dino-see-saur !

Q:  What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks?
A:  More than the dinosaur !

Q:  How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
A:  Down in the mouth !

Q:  Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ?
A:  In the dark!

Q:  Did the dinosaur take a bath ?
A: Why, is there one missing?

Q:  What is in the middle of dinosaurs ?
A:  The letter "s"!

Q:  Where do dinosaurs get their mail ?
A:  At the dead-letter office!

Q:  What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing?
A:  Her shadow!

Q:  What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes?
A:  Out of the way!

Q:  What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ?
A:  Long distance!

Q:  Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum?
A:  Because they can't afford new ones!

Q:  What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur?
A:  Hello, hello!

Q:  Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch?
A:  That depends on how fast you carry it!

Jenny:  Why are you crying?
Larry: Because I wanted to get a dinosaur for my baby brother.
Jenny: That's no reason to cry.
Larry:  Yes it is! No one would trade me!