What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales

Why wouldn't they let the butterfly into the dance?
Because it was a moth ball

What do cats eat?
Mice bubbles

Why did the crab get arrested?
Because he was always pinching things

What do whales eat?
Fish and ships

Nicole: Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn't do
Amelia: What was that
Nicole: My homework!

Why did the man drag a cabbage on a lead?
He thought it was a collie

Why did the tap dancer retire?
He kept falling in the sink

Why did the boy wear a belt on his teeth?
He couldn't find his braces

What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
The banana split

How do you stop a snake from striking?
Pay it decent wages

What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
An envelope

What's grey and squirts jam at you?
A mouse eating a doughnut

What happened when 500 hares got loose on the main street?
The police had to comb the area

What book tells you all about chickens?
A hencyclopedia

Customer: How much is that duck?
Shopkeeper: Ten dollars
Customer: Okay, could you please send me the bill?
Shopkeeper: I'm sorry, but you'll have to take the whole bird.

What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish

What's the name of the little girl who went out saving wolves?
Little Green Riding Hood

Who carries a basket, visits Grandma and steals her jewellery?
Little Red Robin Hood

What's got a trunk, lots of keys and four legs?
A piano up a tree

What were Tarzan's last words?
Who greased the vine!

What do people do in clock factories?
They make faces all day

How do you stop a cockerel crowing on Sunday morning?
Have him for dinner on Saturday night

What's small and cuddly and bright purple?
A koala holding his breath

What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick

How does a flea get from place to place?
By itch-hiking

What happened to the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens

What colour is a hiccup?
Burple

How do elves get indigestion?
By goblin their food

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea

What do you call the same deer with no legs?
Still no idea

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball

Why was Cinderella such a bad player?
Her coach was a pumpkin

What's the best way to make a pair of trousers last?
Make the coat first

What has a bottom at its top?
A leg

Why did the bees go on strike?
For more honey and shorter flowers

What has a long trunk and is found in Tasmania?
A lost elephant

What keeps jazz musicians on earth?
Groovity

What does a witch ask for when she arrives at a hotel?
Broom service

What kind of umbrella does a Russian carry when it's raining?
A wet one

What happened to the man who couldn't tell putty from toothpaste?
His windows fell out

What is an echidna's favourite food?
Prickled onions

What's smaller than an ant's mouth?
An ants dinner

What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
Some day my prints will come