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JOKES 2
Why wouldn't they let the butterfly into the dance?
Because it was a moth ball
What do cats eat?
Mice bubbles
Why did the crab get arrested?
Because he was always pinching things
What do whales eat?
Fish and ships
Nicole:
Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn't do
Amelia:
What was that?
Nicole:
My homework!
Why did the man drag a cabbage on a lead?
He thought it was a collie
Why did the tap dancer retire?
He kept falling in the sink
Why did the boy wear a belt on his teeth?
He couldn't find his braces
What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
The banana split
How do you stop a snake from striking?
Pay it decent wages
What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
An envelope
What's grey and squirts jam at you?
A mouse eating a doughnut
What happened when 500 hares got loose on the main street?
The police had to comb the area
What book tells you all about chickens?
A hencyclopedia
Customer:
How much is that duck?Shopkeeper:
Ten dollars Customer:
Okay, could you please send me the bill? Shopkeeper:
I'm sorry, but you'll have to take the whole bird.
What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish
What's the name of the little girl who went out saving wolves?
Little Green Riding Hood
Who carries a basket, visits Grandma and steals her jewellery?
Little Red Robin Hood
What's got a trunk, lots of keys and four legs?
A piano up a tree
What were Tarzan's last words?
Who greased the vine!
What do people do in clock factories?
They make faces all day
If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?
Wet
What does Batman's mum call when she want's him to come in for dinner?
DINNER dinner DINNER dinner, DINNER dinner DINNER dinner BATMAN!
Can April March?
No, but August May
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
I-don't-think-he-saurus
What do you call two rows of cabbages?
A dual cabbageway
Why do Teddy Bear biscuits wear long trousers?
Because they've got crummy legs
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
What goes ho-ho whoosh, ho-ho whoosh?
Santa caught in a revolving door
What does a dentist call his x-rays?
Tooth-pics
Where do you send a frog to get glasses?
To a hoptometrist
What happened when the chicken slept under the car?
She woke up oily next morning
How do you stop a cockerel crowing on Sunday morning?
Have him for dinner on Saturday night
What's small and cuddly and bright purple?
A koala holding his breath
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick
How does a flea get from place to place?
By itch-hiking
What happened to the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens
What colour is a hiccup?
Burple
How do elves get indigestion?
By goblin their food
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea
What do you call the same deer with no legs?
Still no idea
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball
Why was Cinderella such a bad player?
Her coach was a pumpkin
What's the best way to make a pair of trousers last?
Make the coat first
What has a bottom at its top?
A leg
Why did the bees go on strike?
For more honey and shorter flowers
What has a long trunk and is found in Tasmania?
A lost elephant
What keeps jazz musicians on earth?
Groovity
What does a witch ask for when she arrives at a hotel?
Broom service
What kind of umbrella does a Russian carry when it's raining?
A wet one
What happened to the man who couldn't tell putty from toothpaste?
His windows fell out
What is an echidna's favourite food?
Prickled onions
What's smaller than an ant's mouth?
An ants dinner
What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
Some day my prints will come Top of page